Fucking with the chronic stomach pain from being an premature baby, dealing with mental illness and taking care of my single mom as a 25 year old nonbinary person in the south . I just feel like crap right now. I envy my few close friends who has easier lives . I'm in college now, but I only went because my ex told me following my dreams as an artist is pointless. I teach art now but I get barely enough to take care of my car and travel to work. Working has only lead to suicide attempts and being taken in by police for psychology evaluation. America has a horrible mental health system and I never want to hurt my mom again by feeling hospitalized, so I can't go I just have the bottle everything up and do shit to cope lol like drinking. I'll probably get a small one rn . That's the only good thing about being an adult I swear and being independent.