My medication I've been on for years came out with a generic brand and while both are basically the same I'm assuming since I started it I started having a reaction called somwthing Dystonic where your. Muscles and blinking fuck up so they told me I can't be on my original medication anymore so they have been trying different ones and nothing is working

I'm constantly hearing something knocking and the sink running and people in my bedroom and the mean shit in my brain is hurtingy feelings a lot it took so long to find a medication that worked for me and the process was so miserable. Because all it is is trying shit waiting two weeks to see if you wanna die or feel ok or feel like a zombie and I cant go through that again it was so painful it still is painful

I have no friends I can't talk to my family I have no one but my fucking self and I don't want to go through this again alone I can't and I was sober and I started drinking again so at least I could sleep and not hear anything but every awake moment is a awful I just got done dealing with pancreatitis my liver and kidneys were fucked i was in ICU for a week then transferred to a different hospital.tjat.could.axtually.treat me and my stomach has started hurting so bad again and throwing up my meds doctor doesn't come back till Tuesday I'm losing my mind

I don't work I used to. Then I pissed off manager and she started cutting my hours and saying it was because another person came back and it went from 40 plus to 15 and I confronted it them and they called me psychotic and it was all in my head and I ended up having a breakdown which they used to fire me and it turns out It wasn't me being paranoid over nothing they were doing it on purpose so id hopefully quit because she didn't like me anymore I had two years sober this was my first sober job and one comment ruined my entire thing

My head hurts my body hurts my literal soul is aching and I don't wanna go through this again I literally can not do this again the despair I feel in my soul immense it's like it's own entity I don't understand what I dix wrong and why I have to do this again I don't even wanna be happy it's fine if I feel nothing I just don't want the agony in my heart. In my veins my brain my my lungs to be here anymore I can't take it