Here I am, 12 years later and miserable. I was impregnated by someone who promised me love and care but couldn’t back it up with their actions. I’m stuck living in my “childhood home” which has never felt like a home. Just walls I had to be grateful that she allowed me to sleep in. My mom cares nothing about me or my wellbeing. Only if things are good and comfortable for her, outside of that nothing else matters. I’m at my wits end. When I was 12 I almost bled to death. How? Why? She refused to take me to the doctor for the weeks I was suffering. By the time she took me the doctor said if she had waited any longer I would’ve been in critical condition. I’m really regretting not just letting nature take its course. If I could’ve looked into the future and seen how shitty it would end up, I would’ve suffered in silence until I was set free. But now I’m stuck. Stuck in the house of someone who only helps me so she doesn’t look bad. Stuck in a body I can’t bring myself to harm due to developing life. The kid deserves a shot at life. I’ve done my trial and I want out. My body is aching from the emotional pain. It’s so bad I don’t even feel like eating, which is what I used to do when I was sad before the pregnancy. I only eat because I know it’s important for the baby. Anything I do is for them, not me. I hate myself.