Ive recently been experiencing very unpleasant feelings. Ive been overwhelmed and severely stressed. I can't function. Im in college and i haven't had the energy to actively work on schoolwork. Ive been feeling like i have built up stress but whenever i imagine releasing it. Doing something about it i imagine stabbing myself(i cant believe im saying this at one point i was scared of this) sometimes i even do the motions of doing it with my hands. I tell myself i dont want to due but i want my suffering and the pain im feeling to end. I feel like im being forced to participate in this horrible world. That every breathe is not mines i want to take. I wish it was a game where i can just log off. Disconnect. I just want to be in a euphoric state where my mind is clear and not have so many thoughts. My thoughts are driving me crazy. I cant stand them. They make me want to run into something.

Ive been experiencing stressful life events and i was told by my therapist that my stress can induce more serious symptoms. Its already taking a toll on my body. Im starting to see things turn into creatures or things. I sometimes feel like im morphing into another person and i get scare that other people are hearing my thougts. I literally crumble at the thought of it.

I dont know whats wrong with me but whenever i try to tell someone close to me the response is that i need to get over it and that im too smart to be messed up in the head. I wish i could i really wish i could but this is so much torture. I dont know how much longer i can take of this internal mentality torment. Everything is so loud and i want it to be calm. I can feel all this in my bones. I dont know what to do but i want to go to the hospital sometimes. More so now because i cant take all of this. But i know if i try to go voluntarily theres may be a fuss, because everybody things im faking it.