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Iām supposed to see my psychiatrist tomorrow and Iāve failed every promise Iāve made. They think Iām getting better but Iām not. No meds have worked, Iāve gained 100 pounds since last year, I just need it all to stop before it gets worse. I canāt sleep. I donāt want to move. I just want to go away. I donāt want to make it to tomorrow. Iām scared but I think I can do it tonight
Let me make it clear to you I donāt believe in god. I donāt believe in Jesus. You saying all of this isnāt going to make me believe it. I know nothingās going to happen. For the last time, stop.
jesus isnāt going to magically make all of this better. He canāt take my scars away or calm me down, he canāt make all this just stop. I donāt believe in eternal happiness. all I want is to go away and for it to all be over. no heaven or afterlife, no eternal happiness, I want nothing.
I canāt make it one more day, I canāt. Iām so tired. I canāt sleep. I just want to be gone, I canāt bring myself to tell them that everything Iāve said has been a lie. I canāt take it anymore
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- 1 year ago
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stop. fucking stop. what part of what Iām saying do you not understand? I donāt believe in jesus fixing fucking anything. this isnāt the devil talking through me, this is ME. i couldnāt care less about Jesus and his āunconditional loveā. If it exists, where is it? Where the fuck is it? Iām at the lowest point in my entire life. Itās been going downhill for 2 years and it KEEPS GETTING WORSE. You donāt understand, believing in some higher power shit isnāt going to make me better. stop.
plus, pushing religion on people is against community rules