I feel so helpless and sad and like I’ll never be able to feel okay enough to exist as a person. And I don’t know who to talk to about it. I don’t want to be institutionalized. I won’t do anything. But I really wish I could. If I talk to my boyfriend about it, he will worry lots. But there is nothing to be done to help me, so worrying him would be pointless. If I tell my one friend, he will tell my mom, and I don’t want to worry her. I feel like I will never have enough love and people caring about me to fill the pit inside my soul. Everyone else I know, we aren’t close enough to talk about this. And there would be nothing they could do to help me either. I really wish I had close friends. That might be a good start towards helping with the pit. All the people I keep trying to be close friends with are too busy or depressed to hang out. And from what I’ve heard from older people, that’s just how all of adulthood is. What is the point of life. I thought it was to make connections and have experiences. But everyone is struggling so hard to survive under capitalism that we don’t have time for either of those things. How do people choose to keep living under these conditions. I guess we do it so that our family and acquaintances don’t get sad.