I have spent the last year trying to improve myself. I started uni online to try and get a degree. I am failing. I have an assignment due and I just can't do it. I don't understand and I don't have the time to do it with working 2 jobs.

All I have accomplished is struggling to feed myself because I can't afford my university payments., rent and bills.

I have like 2 friends. the rest all left me as I couldn't afford to go out, nor had the time, trying to keep up with working and studying.

I am failing at everything I try. I have no long-term plans. no pensions. no family to fall back on.

i say I can barely feed myself but I can't stand looking at myself in the mirror so my mind tells me it is okay not to eat. I was SA'd when I was 19 and never had sex since, which means no one ever wants a relationship with me. I have never felt anything but alone but I'm just so sick of it. what is the point of trying and struggling?
I have no help. I am the person people normally go to for help, even if they are not there for me in return.

I am stuck living in Asia because I can't afford to move back to England after 6 years here. I need to be back in England where I can get some support through the NHS at least.

I can't see any other way out. the only reason I haven't gone so far is, I had a friend from tried to kill herself and I found and supported her through it and it was soul-destroying having to experience that with her. I would want to wish that on anyone I know. But then again I can literally go weeks without anyone even messaging me. I cant even remember the last time anyone even touch me.