I found out some good news a few days ago. An online accquaintance who had gone offline shortly after posting a suicide note years ago recently came back online and posted an update.

I honestly don't know how to feel. I already had been grieving. I grappled with whether I had any right to grieve, being so tangentially in her life in the first place. I had texted what I thought was her abandoned account, giving updates on my own fight against suicide for both myself and others. And now, I'm so glad that she didn't do it and that she let us know she's okay, even if it's years later. And at the same time that pain is still there. It doesn't make sense, but there it is.

I think the cruelest part is that it's given me hope for the other people I've seen die. Maybe I lost track of them? Misremembered a vital detail, found the wrong obituary?

I really don't know what to do with this.