It’s been 78 days since I lost my fiancé. Everyday is a different cycle of grief. This week has been dragging and the numbness has completely taken over my life.

I have been back to work, eating a little more, going on walks and seeing friends. But that’s the thing, I look forward to absolutely nothing. Not excited for my weekends. Not interested in attending events.

I turned 30 a month after he passed. I thought 30 was going to be the best year of our lives so far. I went from being so happy the wedding was all planned to not wanting to plan anything at all.

I know I’m still at the beginning of this, but will I ever feel excitement again?