Today in my culture, it is Saint Nicolas. It is the most joyous celebration, it was even more important than Xmas for us as children. My brother loved it so much. We both loved traditions.

It is very hard today, I am not able to leave my bed. I wanted to do something special for him, but I don't find the strength as sadness is eating me entirely. And then Xmas will come, and soon after his birthday. He would be only 28. I am only 30, I can't imagine my life, my entire life without him. To survive, I try not to, and just go on day by day.

I just wish to all of you an Happy Saint Nicolas and send you a lot of courage and love to carry on this extra hard month for a lot of us 🙏