I posted a question a couple of weeks ago after really struggling through some recent meets and the responses here were so caring and helpful - thank you! May I ask one more question as a follow up?

One thing I heard pretty clearly is that as a SD, I need to be as clear as possible about my expectations for an ideal arrangement with a SB. That makes sense. I’m struggling, though, with knowing what expectations are realistic and would love to hear from others on here.

For those that are in successful ongoing arrangements, what are your expectations?

1). Is it fair to ask for a certain amount of messaging outside the meet? What about response time? (I’m thinking of those who leave you unread for several days).

2). Is it reasonable to expect a relationship that goes deeper than hookups?

3). Words of affirmation is a big thing for me. Every girl I’ve chatted with says “you’re the sweetest guy.” It’s because I’m a natural encourager and I do love to make people feel good about themselves. Is it reasonable that I might find someone that returns that favor or should I just be ok with “you’re the sweetest guy - thank you.”?

4). Is it reasonable to think that a SB probably half my age might actually desire me and time with me? I get that a mutual attraction might be a stretch - but I want to believe on some level that meetups or chats aren’t done out of obligation or to check the box so they get the allowance. Am I hoping for too much?

Before I can articulate expectations... I’d like to know how to keep them realistic so that I might be able to have fewer disappointments in these arrangements.

I mean, my ideal would be to find someone that’s as excited to see me as I am them. Is that reasonable or actually possible? Or, should I stop trying to answer that question and just be grateful to meet someone kind and attractive who I enjoy being with and just be grateful that they’re willing to be with me? I feel like I’m pouring a lot more into these relationships than is being returned and I’m wondering if that’s just how this usually works? What do healthy and realistic expectations look like in this sugar world?

Still learning here and am grateful for this community! I’m very open to responses from either SD’s or SB’s.