There’s this guy (42) that I (32) met like 2 years ago at a Halloween party where we just clicked and exchanged phone numbers. During the part we found out that we are of the same religion and he joined the community I’m part of here in Miami. He also has a dog (which I love) He’s in finance from NYC and moved to Miami. He’s big, handsome, dad body for sure, not athletic- but it always kind of turned me on as just remind me a of real raw man that can protect me if needed. Like, honestly I like to call him The Godfather. He just has this calmness / mature / demanding of respect vibe around him. Like, he’s the real deal. The jackpot. Idk if this is weird but that’s just how I feel.

When we first met we definitely flirted. We have so much in common. I love how he’s so good to his little dog. Like, he takes him everywhere with him (I’m the same way) He’s definitely handsome. Like old money handsome with a twist of mobster vibes. We did cocaine at that party. On the balcony. Together with some other people. And we just talked all night long on that balcony until the Miami sun came up. It was really nice. I felt like so in the moment - even though we didn’t do anything sexual at all. We exchanged numbers and said goodbye. He’s like in a next door building. Like 5 minute walk from me.

Then he texted me one morning that fallowing week to come over to his place for dinner and bring my dog so they could play together. I was at the city center at that time but I remember it very well. I was super exited. You know those little but to you get in your vagina? Yes, THAT. But then later that day he texted me again. It was something about him having champagne ready for me and something about his shoe size. I honestly don’t remember exactly anymore. And I didn’t take any screenshots. But I was SO TURNED OFF. I canceled the whole thing then and there.

There was no contact until we saw each other again at our community. We just had a dinner there and once I got outside in front of the building wanting to smoke a cigarette he was right there. During those dinners, we drink. Like, a LOT. It’s a party lol. Not supposed to be that way. Especially in the more religious places. But it is there and we all love it because it’s just much more loose and less uptight. And hello, we are all there to pray, then dine together and connect with one another, and then have a good time WHILE all this time potentially find our soul mate right? Sometimes being a little tipsy helps breaking the ice. Anyways, I passed by him smoking a cigarette there with another guy he was talking to and I just (super tipsy) was like Hi! You’re here! How are you? Yes I cancelled because I didn’t appreciate the comments you made - and I said EXACTLY what they were. And omg his face. I just like outed him in front of others. He was so uncomfortable and I just nonchalantly walked away - not knowing how mad he was.

The next morning I got a firm text basically saying that he now goes here too and we should respect each others privacy etc. I don’t even remember exactly. I apologized of course. I had no idea he was so upset. He forgave me.

That next year we have been friends going out after those dinners at our community - always with a group. Having dinners at home hosted by our friends. He hosted too a couple of times. There’s always been this thing. But none of us tried anything again. He has brought girls to our community. They’re always tall and classy. I don’t know if they have the same religion as us though. I also don’t think he cares. He maybe only cares for marriage - but I don’t think he’s busy with that right now or he’s just REALLY waiting for the right one. But they never come twice. AND then there is this girl that ALWAYS is around - even WHILE he sometimes has invited the girlfriend-of-the-week too! This always I found insane I swear. But I never mentioned it. This girl, I like her. She’s truly really sweet, Eastern European, always the light of the party, his own age, but COMPLETELY LOST. That’s how I’d describe her. COMPLETELY LOST. Doing lots of drugs - together with him I swear I think they do this every week. For sure they see each other every week. And they ALWAYS have sex and make out when they’re drunk. She would marry him in a HEARTBEAT. He would never. And I think she knows that. I think they’re very clear and honest with each other. I honestly don’t know what that is and I never cared. I was never jealous. But I also never dated him. I remember thinking he’d never settle down if he keeps her around.

Anyways, moving forward: CURRENT TIME.

We connected after months of no contact because we both have been traps lot for work and to see family. I don’t know why (maybe because of my medical w33d pen) but I’m SO FUCKING HORNY FOR HIM. Like non-stop. I can’t stop thinking about him. I fantasize about us fucking for HOURS. Edging all night long and cumming together explosively. I want to sit on his face and ride his cock with my tight little pussy. Have my ass up in his face while riding his hard fucking dick and have him come inside of me over and over again. Like, non-STOP. AND I JUST TEXTED HIM THAT. Like, I just did it. Fuck it. I was high on jungle boys.

He texted me back and it went like this:

My question is: yes or no? Do I abort this mission or do I go for it?

I really want to make him cum and I want him to make me cum and I want to cum together and have endless days mornings afternoons evenings of sex with him. Like, sex so good he’s about to pass out. That he only has eyes for me. That every time he sees me he’s undressing me with his eyes and he gets a rock hard cock. Like that passion. But also LOVE. Trust. Laughter - we can’t forget ably that I mean if you can’t make me laugh then what’s the point. Not in bed maybe lol but I mean just in general. I know myself. I rarely am madly in love (I’m very picky) but when I am my god. I know that of that happens I’d love to marry him and have his babies and start a beautiful family and live a beautiful life. While of course having passionate sex until the day we die lol. I need that. I cannot have a sexless relationship. But I also want someone I can trust - so no more side chicks no more drugs the way he uses it. I also somewhere hope that he’s just doing that because he’s deep down missing something and than it turns out I’m that missing part and now he cuts all that crap. And we just do it together like twice a year. Oh, and I REALLY want to make sex tapes with him that we can re-watch. I don’t know where this obsession came from but fuck yes that’s really something I want to do.