Did y'all think I was finished?!

On my previous post Things You Should Not Be Doing - SB Edition, I wrote out a list of things as an SB that you shouldn't be doing if you want a quality SR. Now it's time to discuss things you SHOULD be doing if you want a quality SR.

It's no secret that we create the lives we desire. This is the same in any dating scenario. If you want to have a quality SR, you need to do your part to get and maintain a quality SR. Sugar relationships don't just happen to you. You need to do your part to invite the type of relationship you want into your life.

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1. Setting Up A Great Profile - Majority of the conversation on this forum is surrounding finding an SD on Seeking. In order to standout among the thousands of women on the site, you need a truly great profile. Your profile should be built on 3 components, Photos, About Me, and Seeking. A truly great profile shows and does not tell.
   1. Figure out what kind of SB you are. Are you the girl next door, are you a vixen, are you a nerd? Who are you?
   2. Show who you are, don’t tell. If you’re a nerd, I want to see science fiction and your love for cult favorites. Don’t just say “I like science fiction”.
   3. Figure out what kind of SD you want. Do you want the jet setter who will fly you to Bali for a month, the Cartier and Mugler, the opera or ballet? Or do you want the SD who will splurge for tickets to every major sporting event in your city? Or do you want to learn from him? Maybe how to ski or cook Thai or how to fix a Harley? What do you want?! (Noah voice)
   4. Show what kind of SD you want. Don’t just say “I want to go to the ballet”. Say “Isabella LaFreniere has incredible form and I’m in awe whenever I see her perform.”
2. Properly Vetting - You will have to spend time talking to men with whom you simply aren't compatible. It might be that you have opposing views or it might be that he doesn't want to use a condom. Whatever it is, you will not be able to change a person's mind on what they want in a relationship. It's best to simply move on, with grace. Properly vetting entails ensuring your POT is:
   1. A Safe Individual - Just the other day, an SB talked about finding out that her POT was a convicted sexual predator. You MUST do your due diligence to ensure that you're interacting with someone who is not dangerous. Danger can come in the form of physical (predators), psychological (narcissist, negging, etc), and financial (scammers, conmen, etc). Keep your eye out for red flags and trust your gut. Our subconscious brain can pick up on so many subtle interactions that can just make you a little on edge. If that happens, listen to your gut.
   2. A Compatible Individual - After culling out the dangerous types, now you want to find someone who is compatible. This stage is when you should be talking to POTs and going on M&Gs. Do they like to talk with the same frequency? Do they enjoy the same things as you? Are they looking to financially provide what you're looking to receive? If any of these things are incompatible, move on to the next. NOTE: This is all before you learn about sexual compatibility. If you cannot stand to be around this person, you should not be having sex with him. If you are not receiving the allowance/PPM that you desire, you should not be having sex with him. Sugaring is meant to enhance your life, not be something that makes you unable to look in the mirror every day. You shouldn't be disgusted with your SD or with yourself! That kind of mentality is not healthy for your mental health.
3. Maintaining Discretion - I'm going to go on a bit of a rant with this one. I truly cannot believe some of the things I read on this forum. The sugar lifestyle is all about discretion- even when your feelings are hurt. Ladies, you should not under any circumstances try to blackmail men when they don't provide an allowance, try to extort money from them, or threaten to tell their wives/jobs about your arrangement. I can't believe I have to say this, but some of the things I've heard, from SDs and as suggestions, are mind-blowing. How can you honestly expect to have a good relationship when you're putting that shitty karma/energy into the universe? Taking this a step further, maintaining discretion is more than not blackmailing your POT/SD. Maintaining discretion means keeping a low profile and not sharing your business with friends/family/your cousin RayRay who always asks for a dollar. If you're living at home with your parents and don't have a job, buying a Chanel bag is NOT practicing discretion. If you're a college student dripping in luxury brands but can't afford your tuition, you are NOT practicing discretion. If you are going into folks purses, wallets, glove compartments, you are violating trust (and you guessed it) not practicing discretion. If you're posting on TikTok/Instagram/YouTube/Facebook Reels about your sugar relationship, YOU ARE NOT PRACTICING DISCRETION. At the end of the day, while majority of us here believe that there is nothing wrong with sugaring or any kind of sex work, the world as a whole does not operate that way. Please practice some kind of discretion if you are in this lifestyle.
4. Keeping an Open Mind - I'm sure we've all been on the receiving end of someone you're not sure you're attracted to sending you a message. Sometimes, you need to give them a chance. The SD that truly wants you to succeed might be the one to whom you're not immediately attracted. This is NOT saying that it's okay to be repulsed by your SD when he touches you. This is just to note that sometimes our vanilla "type" doesn't make a good significant other or supportive partner. The more you allow the way a man treats you to become what makes him attractive, the better treatment you will receive. This goes beyond the financial allowance that he provides. This means how he talks to you, how he talks about women, (if he's married, how he talks about his wife), the way he treats folks in a restaurant, etc. All of these things indicate the character of the person opposite you. While keeping an open mind, you should also be mindful of your time. Keeping an open mind only applies to men who are genuine, aren't playing games, aren't making you feel confused about their interest in you, and are willing to demonstrate that they are serious about a relationship with you.
5. Being a Woman of Your Word - If you say you're going to be somewhere, be there. If you say you're going to call at a certain time, call at that time. Being a woman of your word makes you more trustworthy. Flaking on POTS only makes it much harder for the next woman. Your general rule of thumb should be to leave every interaction better than you found it, even if you do not continue an arrangement with them. Sugaring is not a zero sum game. Both parties should enjoy the relationship.
6. Communicating Properly - This is another item that feels like it should be a no brainer, but clearly isn't. When you're in a relationship, you should be able to properly communicate with your SD. This means texting. This means calling. This means being responsive when they text or call you. There is aboslutely no reason why your SD is waiting days for you to respond to messages. In order to effectively get to know someone, you HAVE to talk to them. If you want thousands of dollars in PPM or allowance, you need to communicate. You can't just show up with your hand out and ass up expecting to receive everything you want if you aren't willing to put up the effort (outside of sex) into the relationship.
7. Have Goals - Seeing someone achieve their goals is alluring. Part of the draw of a sugar baby is helping a young woman knock her goals out of the park. This may be attending college or perfecting a hobby or paying off debt. Whatever your goals are (and this will be personal to you) set them. If your SD asks about a goal, let him know "I'm trying to save for my first car" or "I'm paying down loans" or "I'm pursuing xyz degree". Having some kind of motivation will also help you fine tune what kind of SD you're looking for. Many women end up with men that will be able to mentor them, whether it's providing advice or support in a goal or general direction in life.
8. Take Care of Yourself - Ladies, you need to be at the top of your physical game. When it comes to being an SB, you need to have good hygiene, dress well, and just generally be a pleasant woman to be around. This is not to say you need to be up on the latest fashions, you just need to be well dressed for your own style and tastes. Good hygiene means clean body, clean teeth, clean nails, clean hair. Some ladies like to play with scents, while some like to play with makeup. Whatever you do, it should be what is most natural to you. I personally don't do a ton of makeup, but I love having my hair and nails done. You need to feel most comfortable for YOU! Now onto personality and pleasantness. When you can tell someone's attitude/personality is hostile through text, there can be no surprise that success isn't had! If we can tell that you're obstinate and demanding on Reddit, these men can as well. This also serves to make you jaded, critical, and cynical. When you notice these attitudes developing, take a break.
9. Have Fun and Open Your Mouth! - Ladies, this is a great time in your life! You're supposed to have fun and experience things that are new and different! Don't be afraid to ask for what you desire. The great thing about dating older men is the ability to just say what you want. You have 40 years of life ahead of you. Start practicing how to be direct and open now!

Happy Sugaring ✨