I didn’t show up to the school today after the last three days, which were absolute hell. The past two days especially pushed me over the edge, and I really saw how much—or how little—I meant to them. I asked for assistance, and no one came. No one even checked up on me. After the assistant principal’s rude comments, I was shattered. Looking back now, I feel like I was used and walked all over, with my hopes raised for nothing.

I didn’t tell them I wasn’t coming in today because I was promised a permanent sub position, but I never got paid as one. The principal missed logging in for four days that I worked, and on top of that, I wasn’t paid for my first two weeks of work. I feel screwed over.

Then there was the art teacher role. I was so excited about it. They said I was the best candidate, which I went to school for. And then they turned around and asked how I’d feel about being a music teacher. I was taken aback at first, but once I got into it, I really enjoyed it. The students loved me, and now it hurts to see that I’ve been replaced by another sub. Kids in the hallway tell me, “We miss you. Why aren’t you the music teacher anymore? The new one is so mean and just hands out paperwork.” It breaks my heart when they ask when I’m coming back, and all I can do is shrug my shoulders.

What really stung was seeing another substitute, hired just a day after me, with a real name badge, while I still don’t have one. I’m not sure what the issue is, but combined with the assistant principal’s behavior, I can’t help but feel like there’s something more to this. I don’t want to bring race into it, but that’s how it feels.