Nice to meet you all, I am a somewhat tall gothy trans woman submissive (mostly a puppy or slightly bratty sub)

I somewhat recently found out that I am definitely not a switch because I thought that everyone wanted to be the sub and if everyone chose the naturally better option of being the sub, no one would domme.

Currently, I am struggling with asserting my consent and the fact that I get rewarded for being toppy and ignored when I am subby.

I started dating someone new who stated they were a switch and I said I was a sub. She has since really only engaged me when I am more sexual/growly. The problem is that I am growly when turned on and slightly bratty which I feel gets misconstrued as toppy.

I am not sexually attracted to men (I am not flustered nor feel small in a good way when men try to fluster me) but they are the only group ive really found that actively want to dom me.

I feel like this has been a bit to rambly so here are some direct questions:

• how do I find women and enby people who are more exclusively dominant and good with Polyamory?

• Would having a consent document with pre-approved items be better for me since my consent in the moment of play becomes really wobbly (like i did not consent to her husband touching me in a more intimate way but I was high and needy in the moment so I "consented" in the moment)

• Does anyone else ever feel like a sex object and not in a good way when spending time with couples?