We've talked about the things everyone mentioned. He told me he felt bad about the initial punishment and he retracted it when we talked. He told me he chose the punishment because he knows it'll hurt me the most. We talked about the punishments and we agreed that my punishment will be one of my soft limits. He let me create a list of the things I'm fine with as my possible punishment. Then he chose 2 out of the 5 I wrote.

We also talked about renegotiating the rule. He agreed with adding that if he won't reply in 3 hours after I ask for permission, then i'll automatically have permission to do what I asked.

Everything was fine a bit after until someone who's interested in me messaged me on fetlife and asked me if we can talk in another platform. I asked my Dom if he'll allow me to talk to the person outside fetlife. He agreed to it, however, when I asked him if I can date the person if we clicked, he told me I can't do that. His reason was that I won't be able to get to know someone well unless we've met in person.

I disagreed with that and he got mad that I doubted his decision. When I asked him for an explanation, he just told me he doesn't have to explain himself for protecting me to some kind of predator. He has an access to my fetlife account (i'm alright with it) and he can read our conversation there. Personally, I don't think he's a predator and I think he's really interested in me. And I know myself that I shouldn't date someone without knowing him really well.

My Dom got really mad and told me that he's letting me go. He also told me that he's been sick for 4 days already and that I'm not even aware of it because I didn't ask him how he was doing. Also because I was too focused on trying to get to know the guy who's interested in me.

He wanted us to take a break in order to rethink if we still want to be with each other. A few days later, he messaged me. I apologized to him for how I replied to his decision (my reply was aggressive) and I told him I should have calmed down for a bit before replying. I also told him that I would still question his decision because he used an opinion or his belief as a reason to why I can't date the guy. He then told me he'll not hinder me from being happy with the guy and he's letting me go.

I still didn't want to leave him so I tried explaining my side again. And he just told me 3 different reasons why he's letting me go. I sent him a long message after, telling him that both the guy and I are now willing to be friends and won't decide to date until we've met in person.

He changed his mind a bit about letting me go, however, he wants me to go through a process if I still want to be his sub. He told me it'll help me to become mature and a submissive focused only on him. During that process, I won't be allowed to talk to any Dom or sub and I have to deactivate my fetlife account until he's satisfied. He said it'll help me focus on him so he can train me to be mature and it's also his way of protecting me.

Because of that, I'm decided on leaving him. I know that it's a big red flag when someone is preventing you from talking to other people. It's a red flag to "normal" relationships, much more if it's a bdsm relationship. I'm now fully aware that he's abusing me. And i'm now aware that he's been abusing me from when I started to be his sub until now and I let him.