I did a really bad thing to my Dom a few days ago. I disobeyed one of my rules. I disobeyed him. I wasn't supposed to touch myself without his permission. I didn't have the rights to do it without him knowing and without him allowing me to do it. But I did. And now I feel so guilty and hurt that I disobeyed him.

I did ask him for permission. I waited for a few hours for his reply but I guess he got busy and couldn't reply. I badly needed to relieve some of the stress I was feeling that day and I wasn't able to wait for the next day. Everything just became too much for me to handle that night. I didn't think clearly but I should have. It's already too late when I thought of asking for a break instead of disobeying him.

He got mad when I told him, obviously. Any Dom would get mad at their sub if they disobeyed him. It hurt me that I hurt him. He's now punishing me by not calling me by my pet name for a few days. He knows how much important it is to me to be called that. I know I deserve it. I very much deserve it. However, I asked him if he could just not talk to me instead. I mean, there's not much difference between the two for me. He's still thinking of an additional punishment and I will accept it because I deserve every punishment he'll give me for what I did.

I asked him if I could take a break now. I know it's too late but I don't want to hurt him more than I already did. I vowed to myself to never let it happen again. But it shouldn't have happened in the first place.

Edit: thank you very much for all the advices everyone gave. I'm sorry for the tone of my recent replies as I'm feeling empty right now because of crying on every advice I've read. Every single comment made me realize a lot of things. I think I gave my submission to him a lot too much and it affected me negatively. And maybe that's the reason why I'm so affected with me disobeying one of my rules. I'll try to update this post after our talk. I've already listed all of the things I need to tell him and the things we really need to discuss based on everyone's comments.