I’m a 23 year old trans man that’s a few months away from testosterone therapy, I have a pretty high libido already and it’s only going to get higher once I transition.

I asked around for an online Master who would understand that I needed to be controlled because, despite how miserable it made me, I was masturbating nightly with multiple orgasms for the last year or two for that brief shot of dopamine and oxytocin. Outside of the hate and self-loathing I couldn’t find a reason to stop.

He understands that I want to change and he wants to help me make that change. He’s understanding of the shame and discomfort i feel towards my body, he takes things slow and gentle, and we both share roughly the same limits and desires. He’s not demanding but he is expecting, which I think is partly because he’s said that he’s new to being a Master and that he has mostly been on the other end. Turns out his approach is exactly what I need.

Right now he allows me to touch myself once a day to edge while I gently rub and finger my ass. It’s hard, I want to edge so much more, but I asked him to help me train myself so that I don’t have to touch my clit to feel good so that my dick will be that much more sensitive when the hrt kicks in. He has me tell him how it felt as well as thank him for allowing the touch and rewards me with praise and acknowledgement and god it’s consuming. He’s only been my Master for a short time but I want to be so good for him, I do. I want him to enjoy our arrangement as much as I do and above all I don’t want to ruin this.

He even allows me to beg for an extra edge when the need gets to be too great, and even then he praises me for it and tells me how good I am for him despite how I let it overwhelm me. I feel like i don’t deserve the praise, but it’s embarrassing and humbling and he lets me know how happy it makes him that my first and only thought is obeying him.

I’m happy, for the first time in a long while. Placing that total control in another’s hand is peace I never knew I needed, let alone ever expected to feel. So far I can trust him and, when he does push me, it’s optional, never something I can’t do, and always rewarded with him telling me how proud he is of me. It’s freeing.

Edited for wording and details