I’ve been in a monogamous D/s dynamic with my Dom for about two months. Overall, I enjoy our connection, and he has a level of control over me that is incredibly rare and intense. However, he recently used silence as a punishment after I expressed a temporary boundary. At first, I submitted even more, but I realized today that this is too much for me.

I believe this was a structured lesson—that saying “no” has consequences—but it went from what seemed like a one-week punishment to an explicit one-month punishment after I requested clarity. It’s been six days now. I know he needs control, but I also need communication.

He had been increasing communication before this, and now I wonder if it was genuine or if he was mapping out my boundaries to push them.

One major concern: He initially told me I didn’t need a safeword, but I insisted on having one. Now, I’m planning to safeword tomorrow to force a conversation because I need clarity. I don’t want to disappoint him, but I also don’t think I can continue under these conditions.

For those who have been in strict D/s relationships, where is the line between control and manipulation? Have you experienced silence as a punishment, and did it strengthen or damage the dynamic?