As a people pleaser with ADHD, my brain thrives on reward. The reward doesn’t have to be anything extravagant; even just a ‘thank you’ or a smile is reward enough for me. Making people happy and doing as I’m told gives me so much dopamine. I think I’d thrive in a 24/7 total power exchange sort of dynamic. 

I enjoy taking care of people and submitting is a form of that, at least for me. The Dominant gets to do whatever they’d like whilst I take care of things that they don’t want to do. I’d do the cooking (I can’t cook for shit, so maybe they'd have me take up cooking classes), cleaning, bring them drinks, etc. I essentially want to be a slave. A tool for the Dominant to use for stress relief, entertainment, and tasks. I want to make the Dominant’s life easier.

Service submission in both sexual and non sexual contexts is something I aspire to have at some point soon. It feels like a need at this point. I crave it with every ounce of my being and I feel useless whilst I wait for someone to tell me to do something. Maybe that’s an issue I should talk about in therapy, but whatever. I have a deep set need to please and it only gets stronger with people I’m comfortable with. 

It’s hard to explain my thought process on a lot of this. I want to be owned, possessed, to belong to someone. I don’t like being left to my own devices. Again, there’s probably issues I should talk about in therapy but I don’t have access to that currently.

Anyways, if I continue with this it’s just gonna become rambly nonsense and that’s not what I set out to do. If this sort of thing isn’t allowed please feel free to remove it. I had a better grasp on what I wanted to write down earlier but now it’s gone.