Hi all,

Long-time lurker, first-time poster here. I'm new to the scene (6 months in, with one real meet so far), and I feel incredibly fortunate to have found a poly Dom who's been so supportive in helping me navigate my anxious attachment style, which stems from childhood abandonment.

My question is: How much support can I reasonably expect from my Dom without draining his energy, and in what ways can I show my appreciation for the support he gives me?

I'm naturally a people pleaser, and I’ve noticed that I sometimes give more than I can handle, which ends up draining both my energy and his. I want to find healthier ways to support him beyond simply completing tasks and being obedient as a way to show my commitment and willingness to be vulnerable.

For context, we are both poly. I’ve been in a monogamous marriage for two decades and recently opened up our relationship. Both my husband and my Dom have been incredibly wonderful and supportive of this journey.

I’d love any advice from experienced subs on how to reciprocate the effort in a healthy and balanced way so that no one feels like they’re carrying more weight than they should.

Thanks in advance for your insights!

**EDIT: Forgot to mention we are long distance hence the one 1 meet in 6 months but we talk everyday.