Hi I’m sorry I just I needed to get come of this out and I didn’t know how else how. My friends and partners are incredible but they are also all ace or somewhere on the spectrum which makes it hard to even start to explain this side of things. I was in a poly relationship with my 2 partners who I was still with and my master or well, old master? I’m just going to call him my master for the sake of privacy. It is a complex situation as we are both systems he was, I thought he was great, we didn’t get together for the sake of a dynamic although he did immediately ask if he could own one of our alters as soon as the relationship started. He said it was entirely wholesome, that he could own them without anything else attached and I don’t know if we still believe him. I don’t know if we loved him or the idea of him I don’t know if he loved us. He was in a relationship with a lot of us, we can’t figure out who our hosts supposed to be it’s a whole mess but that was okay. Our master was very open about being hypersexual and made small references before and after we got together till it changed into a more dynamic type relationship. I don’t know why I’m giving so much context I’m scared I guess. Everyone keeps telling us he manipulated us. That he was borderline abusive. He was always very possessive but we encouraged it, everything he did everything we asked for we gave an enthusiastic yes and even when there was hesitation we gave in not too much later and pleasing him made us so happy. A lot of the things he used to call us as praise has turned into phrases that sit in our negative self talk. We’re young, and our experience with relationships at all is minimal (other than our QPR partners he was our first romantic and I suppose sexual partner) were long distance nothing ever technically happened but we did a call, and he had a single photo which we made sure was deleted before breaking up. Through the whole relationship he always said mine more than I love you and that wasn’t a problem for a while. He may have seen us as an object to love and that was okay until it wasn’t. He had mentioned something to someone else and they had planned but not actually planned something ig. He never wanted us to know. But we found out and we got angry because how dare he plan that without even mentioning it to us and he… shut down. We apologized to him for getting angry when he did do something. We talked to our therapist about it the day after it happened and we were blaming ourselves and she said it sounded invalidating. He came back the next day. (He barely messaged the day after the fight and we could tell he was upset) the next day also happened to be our birthday. He forgot, he apologized for his emotions and for splitting on us, implied to be the BPD type of split but he never actually apologizes or addressed what caused the fight to begin with and when we pushed slightly he just… waved it off and said we we’re probably in the right and carried on with his normal treatment. At this point we realized that we didn’t feel safe with him and our partners started getting a lot more screenshots and peaks into our relationship and they were… horrified. And I don’t know if that’s the aspects of possessiveness that we encouraged and said we liked or some of the things he called us that some alters in this brain decided to share and I don’t know if we have a right to be mad or upset or break up with him because we said it was okay we consented to everything again and again and he always asked before it escalated into intimate he made us ask. I just we never had an official like negotiation to find terms and I think we tried to ask and got waved off a bit I just I don’t know what to think. Were we in the right to leave him? Did he actually do anything wrong? If we could’ve just had a long conversation with him we probably could’ve saved the relationship should I have tried harder is there anything I should’ve done? I tried to be so good for him but I couldn’t do it anymore. In hindsight some of the stuff we said, it sickens me. Did I really want that, did any of us? I don’t know I don’t know and I hate it. Sorry for writing all that thank you for reading I can answer questions if you have any