I’m f in my 40s and via unexpectedly meeting a dom online dating (on a non kink site). I suddenly feel like everything makes sense to me about me and my past relationships and why they didn’t work for me

I’m kinky and I’m a born submissive. That’s a certainty, but the details will take me time to figure out.

His communication was amazing at the start and I explained I’ve never known anything about this world. As he encouraged me to educate myself I began feeling alive for the first time. He said from the start we could do this journey together and he also wants 24/7 monogamy, same as me.

Trouble is, he’s pulled back from me. We have kissed but he did try to get oral on the first meeting. I said it was too fast for me.

He says he’s working but does text throughout the day, every day, I’m super grateful, but nothing with any substance. His real communication has disappeared! I’ve not had a video call, heard his voice or seen him in a week, just texts. Maybe he’s married? I asked him, said no. I’ve been more vulnerable with him than anyone. Was I just a pushover and it’s not hot anymore?

I don’t know if he’s being a “good dom” giving me space and time, or playing mind games, or even just not as serious as he made out. I’ve asked and he says he’s working and we will meet up when work is calmer.

I’m used to old non-kink dynamics where people just play games. I want the communication and this. I don’t know if he’s just trying to mess with my mind or not because hi communication was so good, it was a real turn on, but now just so bland! I don’t know if he’s into me or not, just asserting his dominance, training me, punishing me? It’s driving me crazy!

It’s so hard to be new to this, know it’s want you want, but not know anyone to turn to.

I’ve gone from feeling so alive and high and excited for this dynamic to really sad and confused.

He was calling me his and queen and good girl, now no pet names, just initiating conversations in text but not really responding much to me. I feel like I did something wrong but I don’t know what. I’m craving him 😭

I text yesterday maybe he’s not interested but he said we will meet when he’s sorted work out. I’m lost…

The sub in me keeps saying “it’s ok” and just allowing it, but there’s a part of me that feels abused. He’s not told me about his kinks yet, only the stuff mentioned above (not kink). I’m also in 2 minds about should I just call it off, but then again maybe this is part of being a sub???

I already know I’ll do anything for my dom as long as I feel loved, cherished and protected consistently. ANYTHING. Is that a thing? Is there a name for a sub like this?

Any advise welcome ❤️ thank you 🙏