Obviously some guys are just selfish assholes, and on some level I am at least partially attracted to the attitude, but obviously that is not healthy for a long term relationship. For me the problem is that guys who are doing everything right, going through a checklist of boundaries, always making sure they are only doing or saying things that they pre-screened was ok, I just get bored with these guys extremely fast. Like I just can not force myself to be excited, even though I know it's healthier from a relationship standpoint.

Do people eventually find a balance, like do I just need to keep looking for someone who has an edge but isn't completely toxic? Or is it hopeless until I figure out how to get excited by the guys who are following all the rules? Has anyone dealt with this?