Hi… So like the title says I’m new to all of this, but I think I’ve subconsciously known I was a submissive for a long time. I’m also seriously religious so admitting to myself that I enjoy this kind of dynamic is clashing with my religious views a little bit which is already hard enough, but now in life post-1st dom I feel like I’m constantly dropping or maybe fell into a depressive episode? Like I miss having someone to tell we what to do when making decisions has me anxious. I think I also got a little reliant on my dom telling me to do things, like it’s really hard to get out of bed and work or go to college classes or do laundry because I feel like I need someone to tell me to do it or I don’t feel like there’s a point because I need to be taking care of someone or I feel like there’s no point because there’s no one to tell me I’m doing a good job except me and I don’t take praise from myself seriously. I’m also constantly freezing and I can’t figure out why. Like it’s understandable outside because it’s freezing and we’ve got crazy wind here, but even in doors with the heat and a mountain of blankets I’m freezing, like cold to the touch on most of my body but I’m sweating like I’m in a sauna? I don’t know if losing 100lbs in the last year has anything to do with the cold, like it probably does a little bit, but not all of this right? And I’m just really lost and don’t know what to do and now I’m like super embarrassed because some of my subby-er subconscious traits have come out in front of normal people in my life. Like I’m in college so my friends and I go out drinking sometimes and sometimes when I have a few it’s like the switch flips and I do whatever my friends tell me to, like I’m hardly tipsy but it’s like my subby brain turns on and I just obey without thinking. And one of my friends jokingly called it out a couple weeks ago and I don’t know how to handle that, like sometimes it’s hard to look her in the eyes now. And another of my friends from the same group is former military and our group has been known to have a friendly tussle while we’re drinking and we call it “America vs England Round 35” because it’s usually our American ex military friend and our English friend who go at it. But the point is like I had to get involved because they started going while we were crossing a street and when I got them out of the street my American friend put me in a headlock and the second her forearm was under my chin my knees buckled which has led to more jokes about me being subby when I’m drunk which thank goodness they only think it’s when I’m drunk because I was so embarrassed. And yeah, like if someone could give me some advice or help me figure out what the heck is going on or what I’m doing that would be great. Thank you