After recently getting out of a 5 month long dynamic, I’ve had very little luck in finding another long-term online play partner. The search has been mentally and emotionally exhausting. I am drained and really don’t have it in me to vet yet another emotionally unstable or inexperienced dom.

I connected well with one of the men I vetted, but we decided to go our separate ways due to some minor reasons (not aligned with the level of privacy we’re each seeking, and I prefer married or committed play partners). However, he really checked all of the other boxes. We connected on an intellectual level, sense of humor, close in age, interests in kink, and he’s so sadistic I think he may be able to push me a little, which is exactly what I’m looking for.

The thing is, I’m not comfortable engaging with him beyond play. I don’t want to be his sub. And the more I consider it, I don’t think I want to deal with rules and tasks and all of that bullshit right now either. I just want someone to text and flirt with and have fun and engage in some sadistic, sexy play if we both happen to have free time. I reached out to him late last night and he’s amenable to giving it a try.

I’ve been doing this a long time, both in person and more recently online. I am familiar with the emotional pitfalls and how to navigate them.

What I’m not confident about is how to navigate a power exchange based primarily on sadomasochism, without a deep emotional bond.

Has anyone else done something like this successfully? Any suggestions or tips to make sure we both have a great time?