CW: I am not trying to trigger anyone that’s been a victim of CSA. I have been as well by a boy that was my age to a point. I’m going to be discussing non-sexual and sexual age play.

Okay, so I’ve realized that age play is basically a part of what my partner and I do. I think I always knew this. I’ve been fine with it until I really thought about it then I got really upset because I know how even kinky people can view sexual age play. I like to pretend I’m a bit younger because it’s comforting and heals some trauma (yes, I’ve been in therapy for years.). I’m not sure if I can overcome this shame. My one friend told me there is nothing wrong with it because we’re both adults. I just don’t want people to insinuate anything about my partner because I may go postal. I’m serious if anyone accuses him of wanting to do awful shit I will lose my ever loving mind because I have BPD and rational isn’t something I’m great at sometimes, especially if it gets my emotions worked up like an accusation would. I won’t put it on my fetlife because I have enough men that poke fun of my mental health or weight on there for no reason besides I ignored them, said no, or disagreed with something they said. I just feel really alone in this because I feel like a bad person. Just a few years ago I had mainly negative views of the very thing I realized I’m into so I know how that goes. Are there any other subs that are into the sexual side of age play? I would also give my partner permission to keep going if I get into little space or age regress because I feel that safe with him. I also don’t fully lose my current self with age regression. If anyone has advice on how to get over shame for certain kinks I could use it because it’s starting to affect my thought process way too much during the day.

Edit: thanks to whoever downvoted me already. I know it’s a sensitive topic. I put a warning and there’s a title to know what I’m discussing. You don’t know how bad I already feel about myself so thanks.