Is there a way to get to a non-jealous and fully accepting and happy place? I am in a non-monogamous marriage. My husband is bi and dating and I started dating a bi guy about four months ago.

Tonight for the first time, all four of us are meeting up for some drinks. My husband suggested it. I agreed because I really wanted to get the inevitable over with. Here’s the inevitable…

My bi boyfriend tells me that he hasn’t been with men since he was in his 20’s and it wasn’t his “cup of tea”, so he stopped pursuing relationships or sex with men back then.

Fast forward to today, I know that he’s absolutely fascinated by my husband’s relationship with his boyfriend. His enthusiastic questions trigger me so much! He wants to spend time with my husband and his boyfriend. I mean maybe he just wants to be friends with them. I also think he’s living vicariously through my husband’s relationship because he’s not ready to get back out there and date men. Based on what he says and his curiosity, I believe he’s in denial of his true desires to date men.

Why can’t I be accepting? Why do I get so triggered? My boyfriend has the right to do whatever he wants to do. He’s not monogamous.

For tonight, I am just so anxious for how it’s all going to play out. I really don’t want to go but I know that I should. My husband wants me to come. What is wrong with me??

There’s a realistic possibility that all are going to want to play together. This is just too much for me. I would much rather they do it without me. My husband doesn’t want to play without me there.