A history:

16: prescribed Ritalin/Concerta. Used consistently as a teen and sporadic as an adult.

18: Lexapro, 40 mg, for 20 years

24: As needed benzos (never became a problem, but during times would use regularly)

32-34: Cannabis every night

34-37: amphetamine journey starting with 70 mg Vyvanse and eventually becoming 60-90 mg pure dextroampgetamine daily (and sometimes more), doctor also added Wellbutrin (300 mg), Abilify, etc

37-39: Gabapentin daily (idk why it just became another routine rx after my PHP)

Right now, I’m 3 years free from cannabis, almost 2 years free of amphetamines, 8 weeks free from Wellbutrin, and… I’ve tapered to 1 mg Lexapro.

Just made it to day 3 of no Gabapentin too (I went off in August last year but reinstated as dropping down on the Lexapro caused some big flare ups in anxiety)

So I’m only on 1 mg Lexapro!!!

The resurgence in anxiety from stopping even a 4 week course of nightly Gabapentin has been rough, but I think I’m going to make it.

I haven’t been this free of drugs and substances since… Gosh, high school? And I’m doing OK, despite it all. I can actually sense that things will improve.

It’s not a linear journey and I think my brain is going to continue to heal and recover over the next 12-18 months from stimulants and everything else, but I’m adding in exercise, meditation, and dietary changes to support myself.