Hi everyone,

I've decided to become clean for my birthday. Not a simple decision but the result of a few month of trying to balance an increasing consumption of different stims.

I'm ok with the way to do it (locking my ADHD meds in a safe, no plug, no way to find anything), and I haven't been using so much that I should be ok on a short term.

But I did come to the réalisation that what made me increase drugs from recreational to problematic was some chase for that rush and euphoria. I quit drinking 4 years ago and I had an issue for the same reason.

Now I'm understanding that anything that brings me such rush would automatically lead to a will for more... Until it's too much.

Here's the thing: whether it's sex, alcohol, speed, my brain seems to want to feel this intensity and it's probably because I'm generally "disconnected" or slightly depressed.

I work out twice or three times a week, eat as well as I can, have a great girlfriend, place, friends...

Yet I can't seem to enjoy my life without having occasional times of just "losing it".

I don't have issue with weed or psychedelics because they provide other pleasures.

So here's my question if you've successfully stopped: how did you replace that longing for intensity? Did you just accept that life cannot be intense? Did you start base jumping or something?

Thanks