I need help. I have a very strong suspicion my husband is abusing adderall. I’m going to try and condense this but it still might be kind of long.

When we first met (about 7 years ago) I did notice that he was quite thin. I didn’t think anything of it. Just genetics or whatever. But the first time we had sex and I saw him completely naked it was a bit of a shock. Like massively under weight. Ribs showing. Obviously I didn’t say anything because that would’ve been rude as fuck. But I def. Noticed. As the months went on I did notice some odd things about him. Would fly off the handle sometimes. Yell, get super angry for nothing. But it was far less frequent in the beginning. I also noticed that he had odd hobbies I thought for a grown man…lots of coloring.

Anyway, shortly after we started dating one of his close friends died of a drug overdose. This was where he was getting his pills I guess. Apparently he had developed a pretty rowdy adderall habit for the last 5 years but gave it up when his friend died.

Fast forward to present day. Or recently. He’s still underweight. Barely eats. Doesn’t like to sit still. Spends most time sorting baseball cards, doing model airplanes, doing yard work, anything to keep his hands busy. His mood swings also got waaaaaayy worse. Just absolutely flipping shit over ANYTHING. Massively walking on eggshells.

Anyway, this all culminated about 6 months ago because I decided to get sober. (Alcohol.) He gave up drinking as well. But after around 3 months I noticed that I was improving and he was not. I saw no change. Still didn’t eat. Still having anger issues. Just so unhappy. I didn’t understand it. That’s when I decided to look through his office…and I found a bunch of bottles of vyvanse. Everything kind of clicked. I confronted him about it.

That went as well as you’d imagine. I asked why he didn’t tell me. Why he was hiding it. Why he was taking a medication he had a history of abuse with. He basically admitted to nothing. Told me I had no right to it. It wasn’t my business, (mind you, we’re married at this point) he doesn’t have a problem, it’s not the same thing as adderall. etc etc. I got so pissed because my gut was telling me he’s full of shit. It escalated to a point where he agreed to let me throw them out. I did.

You wouldn’t believe what happened over the next week…he got so sick. Missed work. Wouldn’t get out of bed. Clammy sweaty. Literally said he felt suicidal. Withdrawal??????????

We got through it. This was about 3 months ago. He started eating!!! Put on some weight for the first time since I’ve known him. Awesome. Generally seemed better. Then about over a month ago he randomly up and quit his job. Said he hated it. I wasn’t happy about it but fine you hated it. So I’m gone 8 hours a day and he’s alone at the house doing I don’t know what. I know it’s really wrong but my gut was nagging at me and I already had a mistrust and I wonder what the hell he’s filling his days with. So I looked at his iPad.

I found a message chain with him and a new psychiatrist he just got. It basically said “hey doc, the 5mg per day adderall wasn’t working for me so I upped it to 10mg 2x a day and I think that works for me”

I’m confused. We’re on adderall again. He’s lying and hiding it again. It’s not in the medicine cabinet with any of his other meds…it’s in his car.

I freak. I confront him again. It’s all the same story. Not my business. This is exactly why he didn’t tell me. He doesn’t have a problem. It’s totally normal that he’s hiding pills. He TOLD HIS DOCTOR ABOUT HIS PREVIOUS ADDICTION AND THE DOCTOR GAVE HIM THE PILLS ANYWAY “at a low dose” he then lied through his teeth and said he was only taking 5mg a day because he doesn’t know I saw the message that he doubled up. So he bold face lied to me. I told him I’m on the brink of wanting a divorce and he asked to go to counseling. This was last night. I asked him since I know about it now if he’d stop hiding the bottle and keep it with the other meds. He said he would. He has not. I can only assume because then it would be painfully obvious that he’s taking more than the prescription.

I get home tonight and guess what? His stomach is upset. He doesn’t want any dinner…. I am about at my wits end. What am I supposed to do if he won’t even admit to himself that he has a problem?? How do I help him? Can I? I don’t know what to do. Please help me.