Women.

I heard in rehab, maybe my first time there, probably, my first time there that having a drug of choice was like being in the most toxic relationship with a significant other that could possibly be conjured up for me in this life time....tailor made for me chaos.

I have learned through my own addiction that this is closer true the truth than i could have imagined when i first heard it.

Meth and sex were tied hand in hand for me for awhile. I would USE it....and i would pay for using it.

IF i use it today I will pay for using it.

Recently I have been confonted with several social circumstances that would or could of resulted in frivalous sex.....but i now feel unable to do this. I think I can no longer USE sex like this. Its like a intuitive known cost of my addiction. I must accept this like I must accept not using meth anymore.

I just wanted to share this.

Edit: I know some people will argue that two people using each other is OKAY.....what im saying is i dont think im even allowed to do THAT anymore.........i can be in a committed relationship, thats it......what sort of commitment.....who knows.....but it must be a honest commitment. Not just using each other. I realize this now.