Hello fellow soldiers who are not yet fallen,

I need advice from actual hard-core drug addicts to have something to compare my astronomical dosages to. If I'm in very bad trouble, do tell me. I need to be scared in order to stop.

I'm prescribed 120 mg of Vyvanse daily. Yes, I'm aware of the fact that this is already a huge dose. However, I have - regrettably - relapsed ones again and now I'm taking anywhere from 450 mg to 1000 mg of Vyvanse per waking cycle. I'm not joking. On average, I'm in the 600 mg range right now per 24-36 hours.

I'm a 26 year old male, 186 cm/6'1" and weighing 71.5 kg/158 lbl. I have been using/abusing Vyvanse since I first got my script exactly five years ago. There have been long breaks in between; the longest being more than a year, actually. But during this time, I have with exception replaced to speed with anabolic steroids and Tramadol. I'm taking neither of those now, thank God!

I'm worried about my tolerance. I need 240-350 mg just to wake up and start the morning. And then I end up adding over the course of approximately 24 hours. I sleep for 12-18 hours between "days" or waking periods. Sometimes, I'm very productive and happy. At other times, I'm just sick and lethargic, even on those huge doses.

I want to stop because I realize how this is ruing my life and for the sake of my parents and my family, I do not want to die bofore my time. I know you are not doctors, but do you have any anecdotal experience to share with me about your personal experiences with enourmous doses of Vyvanse (equivalent to about 200-300 mg of Adderall per 24-36 hours as far as I know.

I also consume a lot of sugarfree red bulls and very strong black coffee as well as very strong tobacco-free nicotine pouches (the kind that is prevelent in Scandinavia) in large amounts as well.

In addition, I take my standard 1/2 mg Clonazepam (or Klonopin) per 24 hours and usually 50 of Promethazine to sleep. I am not justifying my behavior. I sincerely want to bid this awful life of bondage adieu once and for all... but I just can't stop.

Should I have genuine concerns about cardiovascular implication, neurotoxicity, etc.

Thank you.