Hey guys, im a recovering fent/meth addict and have been doing meth on and off for about 6-9 months. It wasn’t really concerning to me since it was not my drug of choice. (I know I said meth addict as well) it’s just I had a wayyyyy harder time dropping fent over meth so when I would get fent cravings I would sometimes pick up some meth. Meth “not being my drug of choice” quickly changed. Started doing excessive amounts and now I have a strong pull to it more then fent (kind of) I’m more of an opiates guy but try to stay away from those. Anyways of tossed my shit a handful of times when I would get the desire to quit and I would go a week or 2 even 1 time I did a month without but would eventually pick up basically to have fun and play video games but it would always leave me thinking wtf are you doing bro… when I would use it for longer then a couple days. First couple days were bliss! It was fun I was gamin all night! But these things don’t last… it’s always fun in the beginning and hell in the end with these drugs. Long term or short term. Sorry for the rant but I came here to get some encouragement to flush the rest of my stuff. I also have a bubble which makes it even harder to toss because smoking from the PIPA is an addiction on its own. But I resist doing so because I’ve done it before and regretted it.. obviously but I have been to rehab and I’ve felt the sober life and I know it’s the best! Being clean was the best I’ve ever felt in my life. I’m 19YO right now my dad is homeless somewhere living on the streets of Seattle.(I actually saw him for the first time in 5 years after not talking to him or seeing him. It was with my lil bro. Before this he was completely MIA for like 3 years) he is in a very severe state of psychosis that many would think is permanent, but I refuse to belive it’s permanent. He basically developed schizophrenia from his EXCESSIVE amount of meth use. I also got my mom that does Fetty and meth just like used to and she is also homeless but at least she has a trailer some sort of roof over her head but her boyfriend is a POS. Sorry guys I just wanted to explain my situation and my backstory. I’m living with my lil bro (16YO) with my mom’s brother for the last almost 6 years. I started my Fetty/meth use at 13 years old when my uncles let me try heroin for the first time. I love being outdoors I love sports. I just bought new snowboard gear when I got back from rehab over $2500 worth. It’s my passion. but these drugs just make me not want to do anything except get high and feel sorry for myself. It’s not even fun anymore… I just want out but need the courage to do so. I understand I just have to do it! That’s how the path to a good sober life starts. Oh another reason why I want to quit is since I haven’t been sleeping and doing this crap my heart would start hurting here and there and my anxiety would spike when that would happen. Haven’t had a doctors check up in years but I’m pretty sure I have an irregular heartbeat too so using meth is concerning to me for my health. I told myself I wouldn’t do it today and as soon as I get home I’m just debating on tossing it Nd then end up smoking a lil it’s been like this for 3 days and I have 2 full G’s left which would last me forever about a month at the rate I’m doing right now. Anyways thank you so much for reading! I just need to hear some words of encouragement or something I don’t know. I guess I’m just looking for any sort of help I can. Again, thanks for reading! Keep my mom and dad in your prayers please as well as me and my lil bro!