I guess I'm needing advice because I started off pretty strong and managed to get like four or five days. Then me and the misses, got into a heated argument. And since that phone call been going harder. Idgaf attitude. I have to stop, once that phone call was done then I was like f*** it and like I need to bounce back on my feet. For last few months and rough because I walked away from pretty good job. allowed myself to become codependent. Chose to lose myself. In the process my to rescues are now horrified of me. My ability to cope emotionally it is not there. I don't even f****** have a source of income at the moment. And then you act on all the mental illness and the increasing stressors of financial obligations dog obligations myself care. Like I'm almost at the point where I'm just going to go to Walmart to fill up a grocery cart walk out you know what I mean. I guess you know taking so much of the upper if I cut that out completely and say start smoking weed would that be helpful? Or smoking weed and taking Xanax? Because I do love my Xanax and it's the only thing that makes me calm and sleepy aside from outrageous horny...lol I I had at one point part taken in 12 step fellowship meetings. But after so many years clean, there was a series of events that made me realize how sick a lot of people still were. So if anybody says anything about 12 step I'm not interested. Just asking if smoking weed is better idea? or smoking week and Xanax? Well I break away from the speed..thanks guys