I will be 52 months clean from all amphetamines and stimulants(and fent/heroin but thats another sub, lol) the end of this month. In the last few years i have noticed that two times a year i get.....wild...idk.....feeling some kind of way anyway. One time of the year begins roughly now until the end of october, the second in the spring.

Some people say well, yeah, seasonal affective disorder......i argue that this is not exactly the same thing as seasonal affective disorder....i get that too but it happens AFTER what im going through now.

I can see a pattern in my using past( i used meth from 1999-2020, and heroin/fent from 2010-2020) where i would go ABSOLUTELY BUCK WILD during these two times of year.....winding up in rehab or jail or the psych unit many occasions......i was wild throughout the year....but this time of the year(along with that month or ao in the spring) are real mfkers.

I know this is my natural rythym because ive even realized the pattern throughout my childhood...its been a constant companion of sorts, always there but changing as i changed.

I had a friend menton today he has the same issue....i read on here the other day about someone dealind with a similar issue....my advice is become aware of your cycles and act accordingly......im awae i dont need to be too serious emotionally about alot of things and avoid making big life altering decsicions during these times of year, as well as not putting myself in compromising situations(althpugh this is now habit for me for the most part)

Im very grateful to god and the entire recovery community(meaning this place). I do not even think about using today. It really upsets me now in a way that is hard to translate into words fully, the fact that i invested so much in that scene, its really disturbing actually. thats why i stay involved with recovery,

Edit: I meant to say up there somewhere that it may be worthwile to remember that some people get wild this time of year, know what im saying?