And I keep trying to self destruct it all… past few months since April I been back and forth with using meth, I’ll binge use for a week or 2 stop for 2-3 weeks and repeat , I was sober from last July til April when I moved downtown ( last July I moved to a new province in a new city ) apartment fell through so I ended up 20mins outside the city with no vehicle… in January I got an apartment was a huge down grade but I’m able to work, walk to stores / appointments, use public transit etc… but I had a mini home 3 bedrooms , beautiful private yard decent amount of property , nobody above me or under me. Ton of privacy and it was amazing apart from lack of transportation, everything me and my partner wanted it was like moving to a new place with only our tent and clothes was such a huge risk but everything has been falling into place, we now have a fully furnished apartment , both were working but relapsing kinda screwed us there. My partner just did his flaggers course to work on the highways & I got accepted into college for addiction & community services program. Approved for student aid & orientation is the 18th. Got into the class before relapsing. Always wanted to be sober and be in that line of work to help others who struggle like I do . I never would of thought of even doing college hell I didn’t do highschool I had to pass a test to even get in the college anyways I’m just venting as I got a guy holding a half a gram for me to front and I’m trying to not go get it. Strictly out of boredom I been in bed for the past 13 days I been sober again and haven’t used