So last week I ended up in a detox facility because there was no way I was going to stop taking 65-80mg of dexedrine on my own (prescribed only, never street pills). I've been taking that amount for like two or more months now, but started dexedrine last September. Spent $4500 USD for three nights at this detox out of desperation, because I was getting really freaky side effects from the high dose. They destroyed like a 100 vyvanse pills I had - which I'm pissed about now tbh.

I was put on wellbutrin and that seemed to do the trick. I felt awful in terms of anxiety but I was by no means bedridden (aside from day 1 where I was so anxious I couldn't walk or talk properly) and surprisingly had only very little fatigue. Physically I felt and looked 100x better, immediately. My hands and feet lost their disconcerting red-purple deadened colour, and my face looked healthy - starting on the very first day I didn't take any dexedrine.

By day three off them the intense hunger came, but it wasn't too bad compared to what I've experienced before. I ate until I felt really sick at most meals, but I'm underweight so it was fine. By day five it seemed like the intense hunger was letting up.

But then it all came crashing down on me. On day four I noticed I felt quite sick after drinking any caffeine or vaping nicotine. Like burnt-out stressed, super hungover sick. Trying to drink tea or coffee made me so lethargic I'd be non-functional.

By day five I would be bedridden after taking even one puff of my vape. I'm highly addicted to nicotine so I vaped a ton anyway and obviously felt maximally horrible. The burnt-out feeling also jacked up my appetite to the utter max. I'd eat a huge breakfast, try to drink coffee in hopes of feeling some sort of stimulation, and then end up so lethargic-hungry from that I'd eat another huge breakfast and be in agony. It was the kind of stressed-out feeling where your body reacts with hunger, but it never let up.

By day six this was even worse. I no longer looked healthier - I looked massively hungover from the stress, as if I had been out all night and downed a litre of vodka. I couldn't even walk for five minutes without needing to eat a massive amount of something. I was so lethargic I ended up taking a large dose of valium just to try to make existing slightly more bearable, but it didn't even help. I should have stopped vaping nicotine and stopped drinking caffeine, but I couldn't as I was so anxious, stressed out and wasn't thinking clearly at all.

I couldn't handle it anymore so on day seven, and whilst feeling like utter crap, I cracked open my last bottle of dexedrine. I thought I'd just take 10mg to make the feeling go away, but those were famous last words and I've been taking 20-40mg every day and feeling like I'm on crack basically. But the lethargic hung-over feeling is 10000% gone, and I can drink caffeine and vape again just fine and feel good. It was like all the stress immediately melted away and I felt fantastic for the first time in several months.

So yeah, wtf do I do? Should I try to taper down instead, or try to stay on them but at a low dose? Does anyone know why that happened to me? I was thinking of quitting vaping whilst on the dex (haven't vaped today) since I want to be able to go off eventually and might not even be able to get a refill since it's written in bold on my records that I have a severe stim SUD. But I can't live in a state where I have zero stress regulation. Imma ask askdocs too but thought I'd ask here as well.