As I detailed in my last post, I ran out of pills yesterday which makes today my first day of sobriety. After such an intense relapse binge, I have been intensely dissociated and depressed today. Unsurprising. I just got back from my shift as a server and experienced a gift from my higher power. It wasn’t asked for, and it sounds very stupid; nevertheless, it gave me a profound sense of peace and I needed it.

Pulling into my parking spot, I had to stop because three bunnies were ran in front of my car in the parking lot. I parked, got out of my car, and just watched for a few minutes. Stims always served as a remedy for this baseline anxiety and cringe towards (idk how to explain it) like just slowing down and “being”. But because of this comedown I’ve been moving rather slow today which allowed me to experience Gods presence in creation. I heard the so many different birds singing around me. And those bunnies came back and were chasing each other through the trees illuminated by the setting sun. Cotton-like flurries floated through the springtime air.

It was a simple moment. But, it grounded me. Thank you higher power