I'm so addicted that I can't resist ordering RC from the clear net. I started last summer, and during this time, I have consumed around 60-70g of 3cmc, 3mmc, 4mmc, and nep. I wanted to try apvp, but thank god I ordered nep a month ago. I consumed some in the past 3 weeks, but when I started on Monday this week, I finished my bag this morning, and all I did was fap (Anyway, I always do only fap on stims. It’s incredibly hard to quit both) and do a little bit of work because of deadlines, I don't even want to know how hard I kicked my organs due to the fact that I ate maybe 3-4k kcal at most this week, and heart probably the most severely affected, one time I checked my puls and it was 138. I just woke up and feel like shit. I can no longer live like this, but I know that after a few weeks or so, I will change my mind by 180 degrees. Next Saturday, there is an open NA meeting in my city. Do those meetings really help with drug addiction? How does it look? I know most of you here are probably from the US, so I'm not sure if it will look the same, but I will have a view at least.