I have to get back to work soon BUT would like to post somewhere for accountability :)

I’m 28F and I carry way too many hats and work admin for a multitude of businesses so I’m really busy all the time.

I was on the addy addiction train back in college. I took way too much, used it to “study”, never slept, failed my tests after pulling unnecessary all nighters, etc. I quit after I graduated thanks to my wonderful BF who helped me quit and kept me accountable. At that time, I worked an easy retail job for 2 years that helped me get back to normal life w/o stims.

In 2020, I got the admin job I currently have rn and my work load has progressively become more and more insane while the businesses grow. I was also trying to balance starting my own business at the same time too on the weekends. You can see how this would drive me to try taking addy again!

The part I’m not proud about is that I’ve been keeping it a secret from my bf in fears of letting him down. Also it’s come to a point where I’ve been taking way more at a time than I ever did in college. Many nights just staying up not even getting anything done. Deadlines and requests still not being met.

I’ve been going through my refills in 2 weeks and have to compensate by being sleepy and useless during the rest of the month. I’ve been in this cycle for probably 2 years.

HERES THE GOOD PART: I tried to get a refill this month and my BP is too high for them to process a refill lol bad news yet good news!

It’s been almost 3 weeks since I’ve taken addy and I’m finally feeling like I can actually get some work done. Slowly but surely it’s getting done. Normally I’d be pressed to find a way to make it work. To get the drugs. This time…. I’m going to ride this and take it as a true forced sign that it’s time for me to quit.

Fingers crossed I don’t relapse lol