For context, I (29F) have been abusing vyvanse since late 2019, taking up to 7x my 30mg dose at the peak of my addiction. I've tapered off a lot over the last 2 years, not exceeding more than 45mg, and often taking days off in between. Was even able to stay off it over a month when I had no access to it last summer and it was my most productive month, but of course I relapsed.

Like most of yall, my biggest issue when I don't use it is the lack of energy and motivation. Right now I have a big business opportunity I need to take by the horns, but it's difficult when I can barely even get out of bed most days. I try to go to sleep early and wake up early, but I wake up so tired and end up dragging myself back to bed less than an hour after waking up to fall into this weird coma-like sleep until the afternoon. So I end up craving the Vyvanse again to have energy and find a way to get it, end up becoming obsessed with wanting to take it at higher and higher doses and end up flushing it to avoid falling deeper into the addiction trap. This has happened 3x now since the break I had in the summer.

I know I would do a lot better if I had a disciplined routine schedule where I cook healthy meals and work out every day, but it feels impossible to do this in this depressed state I'm in. I saw a new psychiatrist yesterday and I told him about my issues and that I do not want to be reliant on any medication, but I'm unsure how to break free of this cycle. He gave me the option of putting me on either Wellbutrin XL or Modafinil. He said I would have to take either pill every day and we could see how it goes for 3 months, and that I won't have to continue taking it once it gets my life under control. I will go back to him this Friday to let him know of my decision of which one I'd like to try out.

Just FYI, I never took vyvanse in a social setting. It gives me too much social anxiety and I don't feel like I can be myself on them. I am worried about experiencing this, even mildly on either of these pills as well, especially if I'm being told to take it every day. The opportunities I have right now require me to socialize and do a lot of things outside of my comfort zone. I'd like to know if either of these give you the same sort of anxiety and out of character feeling that stims do. All I want is something to give me the boost in energy and motivation that will last beyond the period I take the medication.

TLDR: Curious to know about your good and bad experiences with Modafinil or Wellbutrin XL to push through stimulant withdrawals.