Feeling, I don’t know, existential dread? Feeling plagued by a feeling of ‘woe is me’ that I did not have a real level of guidance for how to grow up and be a good man. I want to make the most of the opportunity given to me, to achieve my full potential, be an upstanding and notable person in my community. However, all my role models are men who took a certain path (more or less commission as a military officer to escape the lower class in which they were born while having the good fortune to be born into a world of change over which they had a direct impact). I went back to finish my degree just so I would have that chance, but I am getting older and the doors are closing fast on that dream. I truly wish I had the guidance of a real role model that could’ve helped me build a better foundation, and I am feeling a tremendous sense of envy and ‘ressentiment’ for those that had that blessing. I know I am not supposed to care about such things as legacy or being well-regarded by others, that I should focus of the self-improvement for self-improvement’s sake and that I should count my blessings before they are stripped from me for one reason or another, but these feelings of inadequacy and lost opportunity cease to keep me down. What am I doing wrong or how should I adjust my thinking/logic. Thank you in advance, and my apologies if this goes against any of the rules of this sub. Edit: In case it matters, I had and have both parents in my life. They were divorced when I was young and only saw my father once every two weeks or so. Both parents always had to work hard, and I am grateful for their example, but I feel they did not put me on a ‘proper path,’ as I feel they do in more ‘well-to-do’ families; no help with planning for college, no encouragement for the military. Also: I am currently 28, currently trying to finish my undergrad degree in history. I enlisted in the Army National Guard in 2020, but was chaptered out of basic training for a mild blood disorder. Feeling morally bankrupt, as I would welcome a large-scale conflict so as to increase the chances such a thing would be overlooked.