So, my progress for reassignment surgery recently got delayed because my insurance just descided to commit seppuku or some shit, so now I can’t actually ever see a therapist again for a long time, which means no getting approved for reassignment surgery for an even longer time. Considering the whole reason I love using is specifically gender dysphoria and getting sexual relief without feeling intense dysphoria, this means that I have even more motivation to keep using now. Thanks America, you got rid of the only possible reason I might ever wanna stop my off and on use, I hope your hypocritical ass is happy.

Mark my words, when I do eventually get reassignment surgery and I’m able to pass and stuff, I do plan to eventually quit and move on to other drugs, cause meth will probably be boring as hell by then, it’s already getting slightly stale, but eh, it’s the only thing that works for me. But before I do quit, I’m gonna do one last binge 4 weeks after reassignment surgery, when I’m allowed to have penetrative sex. I’m gonna fuck myself and fuck myself and fuck myself until my fingers are stripped raw, then I’m gonna possibly get one of my male friends to take over. I’m getting a one handed video game controller too for my PS3 so I don’t get bored, I can play the entire final fantasy series while fucking myself or being fucked. It’ll be an amazing blaze of glory, and an incredibly way to finish my meth saga. After I pass out and my crotch is stripped so raw I have to walk with my legs far apart, I’m selling my meth paraphernalia and am moving on to other drugs.

Truth be told, I can’t wait to be able to fuck myself with no guilt while sober, I really wish I could, but sadly, I cannot under my current situation. When I do though, it’s peace out. Nothing against anyone who likes using a lot and continues to, but like, I’d just feel weird doing the same drug for years on end, and it’s much easier to find a boyfriend who is clean than a boyfriend who not only likes to get high but approves of me getting high, it’s nothing personal though.

That’s just my thoughts I wanted to vent. Until then, I’m gonna keep sailing on this vessel 👌