I am prescribed 90 10MG Dex-Adderall a month, When I take my meds I am my Peak self except that recently I have been abusing my meds I recognize that I get to into being productive that I take more and more and this month I recognize that I have a problem with my meds if i take them responsibly I am great the thing is they are incredibly addictive and make you feel good and then reality becomes skewed when you combine lack of sleep you become very delusional , I used to not be able to hold a job before my meds so just quitting my meds isn't an option. now with my dopamine trying to regulate I am obviously extremely depressed I am barely working surviving off pto , barely doing any work when i do go to work and SO MUCH BEER people are asking me if I am okay obviously noticing and asking how can I deteriorate so quickly smelling like a bar every where I go

I see my psyche in two days , i am thinking of asking for a longer lasting alternative at a bit higher dose and making my mother hold them I will not tell him about how bad i deteriorated in the last month but will just express I feel like IR lasts to short , XR doesn't give you that oomf i tried it once and i just felt uneasy without my "super powers" should i try vyvanse?

I hope I displayed that i am aware my current situation isn't okay and need to better

I know I can fix this , no one will give me any hope things are horrible with my mother , Just please someone give me advice and tell me things will be okay