I don't know you or your wife. I can only tell you what I have done.

The first thing I did was talk to her. Tell her she was and is the most important thing to me. And that I had fantasies about doing crazy things. Exciting things. But, and this is key, I would put them all down if she was not a part of them. And I meant it.

No nut is worth trading the rest of my life, with the most important person in my life, for the fulfillment of some fetish.

I would put my arms around my wife and watch the world burn. I said this, and I meant it. Since then, there has been a constant struggle to keep and maintain that trust. And I'm not ever going to be perfect. But that doesn't mean I stop trying.

Incorporating my wife into my fantasies was more than allowing her to participate. I had to put her at the center of everything I wanted to do. If I brought in another person, it was so the both of us could focus on her.

The key was to start thinking of her and I as an indivisible unit. And that she was always going to be my focus. And I needed to make sure she was mine. Everyone and everything else would be optional.

Eventually, this evolved. And, as she becomes more secure, things continue to evolve. But I am constantly reminded to reframe what we do through that original lense. That she is my focus and I am hers.

Long reply. I'll make this it's own post for others to read.

❤️🦌