It's no secret that one of the reasons I'm active in the group is I want more kink communities in Spokane to be comfortable spaces for females and couples (and I'm a raving exhibitionist). The main reason why women don't participate more in kink spaces is because they don't feel safe. I've found that guys with absolutely no bad intentions at all can come across very aggressive when they're horny and want to talk to a female in a kink context. With that in mind, here's a short primer on what to do and not do if you want more females to participate:

• Something to remember: women are horny too. A lot of women you might think are sexually repressed would get up to all kinds of lewd shit if they were in a space that made them feel physically and emotionally safe and understood. So the broad point of all of this is,
  • CREATE A SAFE ENVIRONMENT
• Most men are physically bigger and stronger than most women. We like it, but there is some simple math here: you could hurt us if you wanted to. Step one in making women feel safe in a kink environment is:
  • REMOVE THE PERCEPTION OF PHYSICAL THREAT
• If you want to talk to a woman in a kink context, stop well outside of arm's reach. Like, six feet away. When you talk to them, be calm, talk in a normal speaking volume, and introduce yourself. If she wants to get closer to you, let her close the distance. Step two is to remember,
  • NOBODY OWES YOU SEX OR KINKY INTERACTION
• This is a big one. Just because a woman shows up to participate in kink, it doesn't mean she wants to do it with you right now. "I want to fuck" should never be understood as "Therefore I am obligated to fuck YOU." This isn't a personal insult. Just because she's not in the mood for what you're laying down right now doesn't mean she won't be next time. But if you act hurt or angry because you got turned down, there won't be a next time. This isn't a pride thing, its a personal freedom thing. You don't want to be forced to do shit you don't want to do? Neither does she. Which leads into step three,
  • TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER
• This is a simple one. When you stop six feet away, introduce yourself in a normal speaking voice while not rubbing your cock or otherwise acting like a sex pest, your next step is
  • NEGOTIATION
• That means you ask something like, "I'd like to do X with you, would you be interested in doing that with me?" Where X is anything from her watching you touch yourself to fucking her face, depending on context. If she is interested in part or all of that, she may say yes or reply with her own proposal. But sometimes, for a variety of reasons, she will say NO. Maybe she's tired and just wants to hang out. Feel the vibe. Make sure it feels safe. Whatever the case, simply reply, "No problem, have a good night." And fuck off. Don't hang around her and keep pressing. just be nice and walk away. Now she will remember you as a guy who made sure she felt safe and comfortable. Which makes it much more likely that she'll initiate conversation with you in the future. Which makes it much more likely that she will gargle your balls. If you pester her, not only will your balls go ungargled, she won't come back. The way all this has to occur is we must
  • POLICE OURSELVES
• When you see some inappropriate behavior, you don't need to directly confront the perpetrator. He may be an idiot and not an actual creep. You can stop six feet away, introduce yourself to the woman in a normal speaking voice, and ask if she's doing good or would like to leave. If anybody is an actual creep or predator, they have to be identified and excluded from the group. Allowing those types to thrive in a kink space is certain death for that space because women will find out quickly and run. I'm sure this list will evolve in the future as I think about it, since this is a bit off the cuff, but the last point for today is
  • WASH YOUR DICK
• Seriously dudes, you want to get near a female with your red rocket? Break out the soap and water. Put on a clean shirt. Get the dirt out from under your fingernails. It takes half an hour and it is an absolute non-negotiable prerequisite for Valhalla (which is what I call my pussy because I like to collect warriors' souls in it). (Kidding. Sort of.)

Everybody have a good time! This shit should be consensual and awesome and fun. Life is short.