For context, this man is everything I need in every other way. We have been together 5 years and I am very happy. We genuinely have a very healthy relationship and he treats me with so much respect. He was raised without very much “home training”, teaching about chivalry or a masculine man’s role, or much career guidance. He also has inattentive adhd. I have adhd too, so I can’t hold this against him. He really wants to do his best to be the best man he can be for me and meet my standards and he has done it so well. My struggle is he wasn’t raised with a very good father role model, and he was not taught the mindset of a man providing for his family. He can be bad at managing money and not hugely ambitious career wise. I know he has this drive and hustle in him like I do but the adhd gets in the way a lot of the time. Currently because we are neither in a great financial situation, we pay our expenses 50/50. I sort of blame this on myself because off the bat, I insisted on 50/50 (my mother told me to always pay my half so no man can feel you “owe” him anything).

I regret it now because I want to be taken care of!! I want to see him hustle and get education and a good job and have that drive to provide for me. I really want a softer life.

Again, I really don’t want to break up, this is my person and finances don’t take priority over that for me. I am hoping for a little advice from anyone who has a good word to say! Especially if you have experience turning a 50/50 relationship into a provider one ♥️