I'm not even too sure if this is the right subreddit to ask, so I'll probably post this on r/psychology as well lol. They'll think I'm crazy surely.

Anyway, I've always heard of seeing phosphenes when closing their eyes, and it used to look like that, until it stopped looking like that a while ago. Now, depending on my emotional state, or if there's a lot of activity on my brain, I'll see what almost looks like bolts of electricity between points. This is when I'm lying in bed with my eyes closed trying to sleep or if I'm deep in meditation. Especially in meditation, I'll see this type of lightshow and nothing else, not even thoughts.

There are three distinct colours that interact with each other, but always avoid combining with one another are Emerald Green, Deep blue (like the blue you see on the input channel on TV, and white. Each color almost seems to reflect my mental state, green for feelings of contentment and healing, blue for moments of wisdom and white for moments of resolved action. I feel these energies communicate between themselves for an optimal result to whatever situation I'm in. I see it day today, either i see more reds comes through, or greens, or blues. When I'm feeling completely centered and at peace, the day will look so bright, it almost looks monochromatic with every other colour starting to wash out.

Whenever I'm pissed off, I'll red flow up from the bottom of my vision. It comes up like blood in water and will wrap around these energies. The sparks either disappear to avoid it entirely, or will feed off it in times when my anger feels justified (either seeing people I love hurt, or if people are trying to screw me over).

But does anyone else have this type of experience? I'm an extremely person when it comes to observing and communicating, I'm wide-eyed and I have a poker-face that will fool a therapist lol, so I'm always focused on what is between the lines and what are false images. I dunno, I can't shake the feeling that's part of my growing awareness.

I've also had tinnitus since I can remember. It either sounds like two singing bowls in two different frequencies combining in my head when the energy around me is dark or dull but still intense

Whenever I pray to the divine through my higher self, or the gigantic iris, the colours begin to swirl around in a vortex around the center of my vision. It all looks like a magenta haze because that's when the energies combine.

Thoughts?