Hi everyone. I’m a 42-year-old man based in Yorkshire, England. I’m single, never married, with no kids, and am looking to meet a woman for dating, hopefully leading to a relationship involving spanking.

The kind of dynamic I’m looking for is one where I take the lead, providing protection and support and guidance for my partner, who in turn looks up to and places her trust in me. I love spanking for fun (and funishments), but I’d also like to help my partner to be the person she wants to be by setting rules and boundaries and enforcing them with spankings. Communication and overarching consent are key though - this is something we’d need to work up to slowly and by mutual consent. I’m a caring, loving guy and not a sadist, so it’s all about approaching things in a way that works for us both.

I have a fair bit of experience of spanking and I love the emotional and physical intimacy that goes with it, whether it’s for fun or for discipline. Whatever the context, spanking is something I like to do in a caring, affectionate and (unless it’s serious discipline) fun way, not violently or sadistically. That doesn’t mean it won’t be hard, but it will be based on what we’re trying to achieve. The spanking and kink worlds often seem to be focused on casual, superficial encounters or extreme pain, none of which has ever been my thing. For me, the most important thing is the emotional connection that comes with getting to know someone well over a long period of time and being trusted by her to take control.

The ritual of spanking is really important too. Warning you that you’ll be spanked if you misbehave, giving you ‘the look’ that gives you butterflies in your stomach, sending you to the bedroom to wait for me, standing you in front of me and scolding you, placing you over my knee, removing your clothes as the spanking progresses to your bare bottom, spanking you with my hand (and other implements if it’s necessary) until you’ve apologised and promised to be a good girl, and lots of cuddles and reassurance afterwards. I’m looking for a loving, caring, emotionally intimate, long-term connection. Everything else is secondary to that.

Other than that, I’m looking for someone who is submissive in the bedroom - but again this is something I’d expect to develop organically over time as we get to know each other; it’s not something to rush into on day one. So I’m looking for a girl who dreams of finding a man who will patiently and carefully take the lead with her, and to whom in due course she will want to give herself completely. I’m not a bully or a collar-and-chains kind of guy. It’s all about subtlety and the psychological connection, about you choosing to be submissive to me because you trust and respect and (in time) love me, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world.

It’s important that any relationship works in normal ways first and foremost, so we need to have things in common besides kinks. I’m not looking for a doormat or a slave. I would expect to start as friends and to get to know you and build up to all of this slowly and in a ‘normal’ dating way. So initally chatting online, once we’re comfortable swapping SFW pics, maybe a phone/video chat and then meeting for a drink or a cup of tea in person. I’m also entirely monogamous; I’m happy to chat to multiple people initially, but if we get to the intimate dating stage then I would expect that to be monogamous.

In the normal world, I’m 6ft tall, about 170 lbs, slim, and in decent shape (with blue eyes and dark brown hair). I’m intelligent, well-educated, attractive (so I’m told!), and successful. I’m honest and genuine, and I value integrity and a sense of right and wrong. I’m naturally a bit reserved, but also sociable and adventurous. I tend to see the lighter side of life and think that laughing is often the most important thing. I like to spend time outdoors (camping and walking), I love reading and quiet nights in, and I often watch films and TV series and go to the theatre or to see live music with friends.

I tend to be attracted to slim/petite, feminine women who like ‘traditional’ roles and activities. I’d love to meet someone intelligent, caring, sweet, genuine, and loving. Someone curious about the world, who dreams of meeting a man she can grow to trust and respect. Someone with her own interests, friends, and career, but who wants a partner to guide and support her in life.

For some reason, I find shyness and nervousness attractive. I love to look after my partner and make her feel safe, and I think I’m pretty good with people who are on the shy or anxious side, or who are nervous because of inexperience.

Finally, I’ve started writing spanking stories - you can find one on Reddit via my profile. It’s not intended to describe every aspect of my perfect relationship, but it probably does give you a good idea of the kind of dynamic that I’m looking for.

If it sounds like we might get on, drop me a message or a chat request. I’m open to making friends too, so feel free to say hi even if you’re overseas.